so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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