carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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