Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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