Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
