her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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