my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
