I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
