what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
