Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
