Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
