Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
