Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
