It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
