he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
