maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
