i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
