i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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