chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
