it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
