Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
