"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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