i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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