You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
