well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
