Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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