If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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