Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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