also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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