i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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