She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The feeling are messing with the penis
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
