I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
