I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
