Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
