bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
