Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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