How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
