I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
