I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
