Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
