I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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