Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
