At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
