Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
