i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
