You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
