she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
