so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
