That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
