i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
