i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
