oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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